Our Pets
Feel free to read on for some valuable insights into the animals that make our home impossible to keep clean.
Malkin
- The Old Man of the House (a.k.a. Monkey)
- Hunts Like a Champ
- Owns Sam and Stimpy - But is Still Scared of Girdy
Samuel
- The Mamma's Boy of the Bunch (a.k.a. Sammy, Squeaker, Mousy)
- Picked-Up From Pound the Same Day as Malkin
- Let's Sophie Maul Him Every Now-and-Then
Stimpy
- The Dumbass (a.k.a. Stimp, Paesan, Satan, The Urinator)
- Given by Beth to Lee on His 22nd Birthday
- Loves a Good Fight With Neighborhood Strays
Girdy
- The Newest Addition (a.k.a. Girtrude, Lady, "Get Off of Me")
- Moved Under Our Front Porch in New Haven
- Loves Raw Meat and Is the Only One That Can Kick Monkey's Ass
Fish
- Sophie's Fish (a.k.a. Jesus)
- The Only Survivor of Lee's "Tropical Fish Don't Require Heated Water" Genecide
- Has an Entire 5 Gallon Tank To Himself - Thanks to Lee